I realized this, and have spent the past weeks praying for guidance on how I can transform a dysfunctional and unhealthy pseudo-friendship in to a redemptive relationship that glorifies Christ. I have begged for a different answer than the one I knew was the only right response.
In his first letter to Timothy, Paul exhorts the young pastor:
But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.
Though Paul is referring to the selfish pursuit of money before this passage, I believe it may be biblically applied to any sort of selfish pursuit born out of discontentment with what God has provided--including relationships.
So, how do I flee such things and pursue righteousness? I must "throw off every weight" which includes severing ties in broken relationships that only lead me to sin instead of sanctification. To a point, this had already been done, but I needed to make it complete for the time being as the temptation to go back is too great right now as the emotion is too potent. I still have hope and confidence that one day, the Holy Spirit may restore and redeem this relationship if he so chooses. I hope they know I will be here if a time comes for restoration. I will pray for them at the Spirit's prompting. But until then, I will pursue righteousness and life without reproach as I know they will as well.
The rain outside seems to bring clarity. Thank you Father for your cleansing rain and redemptive work! Please transform me into a woman worthy of your name!