As I think about the past months, reading old blog posts and personal journal entries, I am somewhat surprised at how different my thoughts and struggles are now after eight months of marriage, 4 months of pregnancy, and one year of graduate studies. Of course I had anticipated a ridiculous amount of change after my wedding, yet there is no method of preparation for all that has come.
I am so very blessed to have my husband beside me. I am confident, with God's grace and strength, nothing will break our commitment; not even my past sin, nor my future shortcomings. I must admit, though, the idea of being a mother is terrifying. I am starting to think defending my thesis will be easier than giving birth. And every time the prospect of having a child frightens the tears out of me, Alex is there with a shirt to cry on as I sit in his arms and listen to his assurance that, though terrifying, it will surpassingly amazing. I am so thankful to have him.
In summation of 2009, I have learned many lessons the hard way, yet God has proven that he remains faithful when I am not. Alex has proven his love is continual. The change and opportunity for despair will continue well into the next year, yet I merely see at as yet another chapter of my many adventures. I have started a new glorious adventure this year of which much of the future is unknown. Yet, I know this: God is God and I am not, and this is wonderful!